Diary~♥

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

okay~today entry will be a short one cause i need to study for my COS test 2 as tmr is the paper le~test 1 i think i tyco de.able to A for that paper.i dont realli pay attention for COS lesson.alway do my own stuff during the lesson. =X

anyway, today our class pon COS practical again.lolx~this time more united?whole class realli pon.(last week still got 2 ppl go attend).our class united in the wrong time.hahax~skip lesson.
however i pon COS today never straight go home la...went to FC4 to do IDEAS project with my other group members. as i expected will see jin around 3 plus.cos his class de DBMS end at 3 and their next lesson IDEAS is at block 17 which need to walk pass FC4. so ya saw him...dont know why i suddenly have the urge to cry again.but somehow i manage to control myself.force myself to concentrate on my project.

after around 4 plus, we completed our IDEAS project, so mi and my other gal friend went off first. and lucky the train come fast.if not i will meet jin again as i saw him walking toward the mrt station.

was on the bus when my mum called mi.she asked if i want go BBP with her.so i say okay lo.actually i got motive of going there too.i want to buy missy donut!lolx~it damn nice!!!!esp the white chocolate~yummy~kekex~ =p also had my dinner there with my mum la.ya after which we go home le~

so this is basically what happen today la~cant crap much today..need to go study le~
oh ya~i think i am able to meet him le?hope so ^^

with loves 7:17 PM

Monday, July 30, 2007

juz came back from KK not long. as i expected myself..i realli got lost in the end la~diaox -.-
around 1.30 i left my class and took the train heading to PS. alight at outram den went to take the purple line(north east line)and den alight at little india(woah...my journey sound quite long~lolx) ya after which went to take the bus.
thought this will be it le~who know after the bus travel a few stop i realise that i took the wrong side one!diaox~ so left with no choice i take cab lo~lolx..in the first place i should have take cab le...waste my travellin time &money??(money no la...i using bus and train concession.lolx~)

yapx so reach KK. so went to clinic B to see the specialist. so he give mi 2 choice.either i go for operation or continue bear with the pain.
of cos the operation is risky and it will left mi with 3 scar!! i dont know which should i choose. i am so confused~ya..after consulting the specialist..he ask mi go do bloodtest.
OMG!draw blood!!i hate it.after drawing the blood..my left hand become damn numb.cant carry my lappy properly after that.
after all these..i was told to go back after 2 weeks to take the scan again.i realli start to hate myself..it seem my medical expenses is about $400 for 1 mth. waste my parents hard earned money. i realli feel like i should go and die so will not waste their money anymore...

anyway...i havent decide if i should go for the operation...cos if fail...i cant live anymore...and i want ronald!!! i wish at least somehow..i can spend a little more time with him...what am i suppose to do!!haixx...

with loves 5:08 PM

Sunday, July 29, 2007

im back here to post again~i have decided to try to post an entry everyday so my blog will not be dead. but of cos posting everyday i think will make the entry quite short. but who care right?better than nothing.hahax~

seriously i hate the medication i am having now!everyday must take it no matter what and must be on time!thus i need to wake up even it midnight!haixx~make mi so tired~but what can i do?i cant complain too.cause who ask my health to be like that(hey!i also dont want right?)

and back to answer denise dar de question.well...i dont wish to continue liking jin le~but it just that after all we had been together for a month plus. esp in school we spent quite sometime together. so i just wish that to get a msg of concern from him?but like what i say in the pervious entry i can only wish for it.

have to go back to kk hospital tomorrow.haixx~need to miss lesson AGAIN!my exam is coming le yet now i keep missing lesson. ahh~~~think this exam i will do badly ba?god bless mi.

with loves 10:46 AM

Saturday, July 28, 2007

yapx im back to blogspot again...
okay sorry guys make you all keep changing link?i keep closing my blog and open again. okay now i promise you all that i will never close my blog again ya?

after i close my blog at xeblog. i felt very terrible.there no way i can say out my feeling. all my feeling are kept inside mi.it made mi feel like i am being suffocated. so yapx..i decided to open my blog again.so somehow i have some place to write out my feeling?

for the past 2 days i had been staying in the hospital. when im alone in the ward.it make mi think a lot.well...of cos im happy that my friends care about mi. but...do you care?when im alone...how i wish that you are with mi...but i know it impossible...i can only dream...and lie to myself that you actually care for mi.
yesterday talk with the doctor..to let mi go home.cos staying in the hospital is really scary esp when you are alone. i dont wish to stay there anymore..as i dont wish to think of anymore.lucky he agreed however i need to keep going back to see him.well through it troublesome.but somehow i prefer to stay at home ba.
though yesterday was the last day for mi to stay in hospital...i actually cried.i cried not cos i cant bear to leave the hospital...it just that i cant control myself anymore..i cant lie to myself anymore.

you really dont care for mi at all...for who am i to you?well maybe im a bitch to you who only know how to be emo.and let my friends worry about mi.welll to be honest im really angry when you say that..as you dont understand my condition at all...the reason that i being emo for those few days...
however im sorry....to scold you that day...i dont mean to...but...i guess nothing can describe my feeling now...i dont know what to say anymore...but seriously im sorry for saying those cruel words to you....
im sorry...

with loves 12:34 PM